Holiday Letter from Alec Frazier 2020, By Alec Frazier and Autistic Reality

Dear Santa,

Me with Santa Claus

Aha! This year has been quite an adventure! Multiple things have happened on the personal, professional, emotional, mental, and other fronts, but you know what? I’m still here!

Me Being the Y in Joy at the 2020 Downtown Silver Spring Holiday Display

I am currently living in a hotel in Silver Spring, Maryland, as I wait for my new address to clear up. This has been a fascinating year, and for many reasons. I feel like the virus outbreak and the ensuing quarantine have actually brought my friends, family, and I closer together, and not further apart. Normally, I focus these letters on the members of my biological family. However, this year, I would also like to focus in on the beautiful, wonderful friends who make me shine and thrive so many miles away from my said biological family.

My Mother Decorating Her Christmas Tree

My mother has finally moved into an assisted living facility, although she is currently in what is supposed to be a completely independent unit of that facility. It is graduated care, and hers is the least serious level. Nonetheless, she has been quarantined for much of the time during the outbreak, without contact with others, which is most misfortunate for someone who thrives on social interactions such as herself. I, my brother, and her various friends do our absolute most to make sure that my mother knows that she is loved by those around her. My mother was raised mostly by nannies and staff in her parents’ household, although her parents did contribute key elements. One might expect her to be what they term a “refrigerator mother”—cold, distant, and unaffectionate. I am so very glad that she is such a kind, loving individual. I have said it many times before, and I will say it until I die: my mother is responsible for at least 80% of who I am today, and I could not be more grateful!

My Father Decorating His Christmas Tree

My father has been a consummate companion, helping me cope with issues, troubleshoot problems, and hash things through. At no time has he not been there for me during this extremely troublesome year. He has helped with personal issues, professional issues, emergencies, and just being someone to talk to. Unlike my mother, whose parents fundamentally cared about her, it can be argued that my father’s parents vacillated between negligently and overtly abusive. This is why I am so very, very proud of him for becoming such a kind and loving father. Many studies have shown that those who have grown up in environments such as my father’s childhood can grow up to be rage- and hate-filled individuals. In part thanks to a loving extended family which took care of him, my father is loving, caring, and compassionate. He is truly the best person for me to have as a dad.

Nico Enjoying Picking Apart Maryland Blue Crab in Baltimore

Years ago, when I was recovering from a brain surgery in Ithaca, New York, I was one of the hosts of the Ithacon comic book show. That year, the show was in a temporary venue, and I helped greet guests. A shy, tall man walked up to me. Nico Myering became my friend that day, and we are so close now that we both call each other Brother. We have visited each other’s homes multiple times, work together on disability and/or pop-culture endeavors, and see and do fun things together. Nico has been a rock of support for me, although, to be fair, he has also been there for thousands of others as he has advocated on behalf of those like him who have CCHS, a very rare respiratory disorder with which one cannot breathe subconsciously. Nico had a tracheotomy early in life, and even today, he sleeps on a ventilator. Imagine how difficult it must be not to be able to fall asleep for fear that you will not be able to breathe. To me, being friends with Nico is like breathing by now: it is absolutely essential and provides me with mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Nico came to visit me here in DC earlier this year, and I gave him a no holds barred experience! We saw museums, eight excellent food, went to the aquarium, and Nico even became an honorary Marylander by picking apart Maryland blue crab!

Christine Loo at Lunch with Me in Takoma Park

Of course, I had to learn picking apart Maryland blue crab somewhere myself, and I learned it from my very best friend, Christine Loo! Christine is incredibly like-minded to me, and I call her Aunt Teenie! She lives in Greenbelt, and would absolutely do anything for her daughter and her husband. Christine and I are in somewhat similar career fields, since she works for the DC Quality Trust, managing significant amounts of funds for the disabled population as a manager and caseworker. With the advent of 2020, everybody has been talking about the stereotype of the “Karen”, who always has the same kind of haircut that Christine does, and like Christine, always wishes to speak to your manager! That’s where the similarities end, though, because Christine is so kind and so loving and doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. She painfully looks for any excuse to bake for people or give them gifts. Her family thanksgivings have over twenty-five courses! Christine has been there for me all year long, and has helped me personally through a number of situations and conundrums. I love her so very much!

Kenny Kalman Proposing to Heidi Jane Wangelin

This year I am immensely proud of my friends Kenny Kalman and Heidi Jane Wangelin! They have gotten engaged, and asked me to be there engagement photographer! Even more than that, Kenny has asked me to be his best man! I will be giving the best man speech, and will also be giving a Dudist blessing at the wedding in my position as a Right Reverend Minister in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. Kenny and Heidi are autistic like myself, and have repeatedly been there for me ever since I moved to DC, and I will be spending time with them on Christmas proper, exchanging gifts, and enjoying Chinese food.

A Commission I Made from Artist Storn Cook based on A Scene in The Elven King’s Blade by Raythe Reign

Of course, recreation and enjoyment is pivotal to one’s life! Within the last few years, I have become acquainted with The Yaoi Fiction of Raythe Reign! Raythe is an absolutely phenomenal author who writes stories along such varied lines as science fiction, action, adventure, paranormal, fantasy, vampire, and so very much more. The common thread between all of the stories is loving gay romance. And this is romance, not cheap erotica! Raythe always writes a happily ever after ending, and engages profusely with her friends, holding monthly readings, contests, polls, and integrating our input to an extent that one would not believe possible! The artwork above is something I commissioned earlier this year from my dear friend Storn Cook. It depicts the bonding scene at the end of Raythe’s high fantasy story, The Elven King’s Blade. For those of you who love detail, the description follows:

Art by Storn A. Cook of the bonding of King Luthien Evindal (Ciaran Hawthorne) of the Riven Kingdom and King Æthaden Undriel of the Valore Kingdom, creating one united Empire, from The Elven King's Blade, by Raythe Reign of The Yaoi Fiction of Raythe Reign.

The description:

This is a grand, large image. I plan to make poster of it.

The image focuses on our two main characters, King Luthien and King Ӕthaden. There are approximately fifty people behind them. Below on the left is Æthaden’s councilor, Lord Ares Etoren. Luthien’s father, Lord Anduin (Egan Hawthorne), is shown below on the right wearing a circlet. Lord Anduin has his hand on the shoulder of Luthien and Æthaden’s eight-year old daughter, Cassie.

On the right is King Ӕthaden. He is pale, tall, and has long, platinum hair, almost down to his waist. As an elf, he has pointed ears and violet eyes. He is wearing lightly colored robes covered with silver stitching and pearls and diamonds sewn into the material. Around his shoulders is a white fur wrap. Perched in the fur wrap is his violine, a white fox with violet eyes named Væral. Atop Ӕthaden’s head is a delicate platinum crown with large diamonds.

On the left, King Luthien has a slightly darker complexion, and is very slightly shorter with black hair at least down to the middle of his back. He has a visible but not ghastly scar over his left eye, crossing his eyebrow. As a human, he has regular ears. He is wearing purple silk robes with a crimson underlay, and gold stitching with inset rubies, and a full-length cape along the same lines. He also has thigh-high black boots. His violine is a regular colored fox named Twig, perched around his shoulders. Atop Luthien’s head is a gold crown with rubies that is bolder but not more substantial than Ӕthaden’s.

Both King Ӕthaden and King Luthien are preparing to kiss, and touching hands. Their hands have a glowing tattoo pattern that joins into one where they touch, emitting as visible purple energy. They are surrounded by motes of energy.

On the plateau behind them is a city with houses and a castle with towers. Behind that are two guardians. The guardians are many headed dragons. These are dragons, so they have four legs, instead of two.

King Ӕthaden’s guardian, on the right, is named Xarathen, and is as big as a mountain. It has multiple heads in multiple colors. The heads look different, with different demeanors. One is emerald green, and is spitting poisonous smoke, one is amethyst, one is gold, one is white and looks wise and collected, one on the end next to one of the sets of claws is blue, and one is red and angry. The other heads are emitting other colored blasts.

King Luthien’s guardian, on the left, is named Einnor. Einnor is black as night with ripples of color, like an oil slick. It has a dozen heads, each with different colored eyes like jewels. The largest and most central head has red eyes. Einnor had two sets of wings, the first larger than the second. This guardian has a massive tail tipped with spikes that are taller than the largest tower in the castle/city below them. Einnor is larger than Xarathen. Like before, the heads look different, with different demeanors. One of Einnor’s heads is emitting pulses blue magical light. Another one is emitting a green blast. The other heads are emitting other colored blasts, gases, plasmas electricity, or magics.

The emissions coming from Xarathen are joining with the emissions of the Einnor to create a triumphal light show.

A Screen Grab from My Interview with Tony Coelho

This being 2020, one would expect my career to have suffered. In actuality, this is been the best professional year of my life! I have been able to meet and interview some of my favorite people, including world-changing author Becky Albertalli, pioneering actor Anthony Rapp, a great deal of other creative talent, and absolute disability heroes such as Judy Heumann and Tony Coelho! A great deal of this was made so very much easier by everyone’s propensity to use the Zoom platform. It turns out that if you have a professional Zoom account, you can record meetings, edit them if necessary, and post them to YouTube! As such, my YouTube channel has grown by leaps and bounds! My podcast has also been doing terrifically well. In terms of in-person work, I have begun work for the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial Legacy Committee, a group that seeks to use the said Memorial to teach disability lessons based on FDR’s life and philosophy. It also doesn’t hurt that the memorial has been designed in consultation with the disabled population, and is a point of pride for all of us!

Alec Frazier Enjoying the Eggnog on Christmas Eve 2020

This year has been filled with so many distinct, unparalleled challenges, but I am confident that each one of them is surmountable, and that we will do so with zest, joy, and pride! Time to enjoy the eggnog and the happy holidays!

 

Yours,

 

Alec Frazier